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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Mildly Morbid Musings

(See what I did there with the title?  That's called an alliteration, when a few words in a row begin with the same sound.)  (I'm officially an English nerd.)

Lately, I have been pondering mortality and all it entails, for several reasons.  One major reason is that I'm taking a course on dealing with grief and bereavement.  My "death class" professor encourages us to think about and actively discuss what we want for ourselves when we die, because so many people never think about it and their families find themselves lost or caught off guard when that person does pass on.  Thinking about my own funeral arrangements, etc, has caused me to think a lot about a time when I had a too-close encounter with death, and relied heavily on the kindness of strangers in order to survive.

Once upon a time...

I was a brand new driver...as a freshman in college.  It took me until TWO DAYS before I moved to Flagstaff to get my license.  I was an extremely inexperienced driver, who had to travel 2 1/2 hours on the interstate at high speeds in order to visit my family.  To put it mildly, my poor little car and I got the beating of a lifetime one day when I made the #1 worst mistake while driving on the highway: overcorrecting the steering wheel.

Long story short, I was going 80 around a sharp-ish curve when the semi truck next to me started creeping over into my lane.  I moved outside my lane; my tires hit the graded shoulder and made that super loud driving-over-a-million-potholes sound.  I freaked out and overcorrected, lost control of my car and rolled several times down a little hill.  Here is what my car looked like pre-accident:
(Not super fancy to begin with...)

And here was my car after rolling off the I-17 at 80mph:


I will spare you the gory pictures of my face...but suffice it to say, I was pretty beat up.  My head went through my driver's side window, my face hit my steering wheel (the car had no airbags; they had deployed with an accident the previous owner was in) and my sunglasses gouged two slices in between my eyebrows.  Miraculously, my seatbelt stayed intact the whole time, and even though my car was upsidedown, I still had to unbuckle my seatbelt to get free.  Even more miraculously, the ONLY only thing I broke was a fingernail.

When all the dust had settled, I was disoriented, was bleeding profusely, and was extremely shaken up.  I was pinned inside my driver seat...I was so confused that I thought I had somehow ended up UNDER my seat, because I was in such a cramped area.  The fact that my seatbelt was still on just confused me even more.  Lots of irrational things were going through my head, like "Dang it, I JUST filled up the tank.  What a waste of gas..." and "Shoot I hope I still make it home tonight."  But really, three things kept repeating themselves in my mind, clear as day:  1) Get out of the car.  2) I need to call Dad and tell him I'm alive.  3) Don't freak out from how much blood there will be.

Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out how to get out of the car, since I was upsidedown and stuck and all.  I was utterly helpless.  All I could do was hope someone would find me and help me out.  I was overwhelmed by the response I got.

The driver of the semi truck was the first one on the scene.  He rushed to my car, saw that I was ok and was trying to get free, and he pulled me out through my busted-out driver side window.  FYI, that's normally a BIG no-no with trauma victims.  But I had a gushing head wound and was sitting head-down, bleeding out rather quickly.  So thank you, Mr. Truck Driver.  This man...he literally took the shirt off of his own back and used it to apply pressure to my head wound.  To this day I can't get over the compassion he showed me.

As divine intervention would have it, both an off-duty EMT and an ER nurse happened to be present, and between the two of them, I was cleaned up and patched up pretty well before the medics arrived.  I remember them being very friendly and calm, which goodness knows I needed at that time of chaos and trauma.  I also remember one woman who wanted so badly to help.  She was fluttering around, asking if there is ANYTHING AT ALL that she could do.  She clearly was out of her element as far as medical attention went, so I asked her to get my phone out of the car and hand it to me.  Then, I asked her to call my dad and tell him what happened.  An added bonus to everything was that two priesthood holders of my faith were there as well and were able to administer a blessing to me.  While all of this care and attention was going on, some onlookers had taken it upon themselves to collect my things that had been strewn across the highway and put them back in what was left of my car.  (My mp3 player went missing out of my purse, which made me sad...but my wallet and checkbook were left alone, so that's sort of kind, right?)  In the meantime, everyone around me was doing everything they could think of to be helpful and show their kindness.

While I lost my car, I am so unbelievably blessed that I turned out as well as I did.  I got a concussion and some lovely bruises and gashes, and still am prone to some lingering back problems, but other than that I was just fine, somehow.  Were it not for the compassion of those total strangers who stopped to help, who knows how bad the situation could've become?  So here is my public thanks to those individuals who helped me that day:

-The semi driver who freed me from my car and used his shirt to slow my bleeding
-Whomever it was that called 911
-The EMT and ER nurse who were prepared with first-aid trauma kits
-The two men who gave me a blessing
-The woman who called my father and kept my family in the loop
-Everyone else who gathered my things and returned them to me without my knowledge

THANK YOU, kind strangers, for everything you did for me that day.  I owe you my life.

Now.  Because I don't expect you to stumble across a potentially fatal accident sometime today, my challenge for the day is a bit different.  I hope you choose to participate.

Challenge for the Day:
Leave a comment on this post or email it to me at alr264[at]nau[dot]edu, sharing an experience you had when you relied on a stranger's kindness, or you were the kind stranger that someone relied on.

10 comments:

  1. I have what's becoming a bad habit of locking my keys in the car. I'm really good at locking the car, just the keys don't always come out with me.

    So, yesterday I was struggling to get something through the generously cracked window to unlock the door. Along comes a small Spanish man who was curious about the Institute building (it being closed on Monday night.) I tried to explain it as best I could and tell him when a Spanish class might be.

    He then took off his jacket and offered to reach his arm through the crack between window and door and unlock the door. It took some trial and error and rough communication, but that little man did it! I couldn't believe it.

    He told me how important it was to have a copy of my key with me in my wallet (which he demonstrated with his key-in-wallet,) and then walked away.

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    1. That's amazing, thanks for sharing! I feel like car situations tend to elicit stranger kindness pretty well. And I never thought to keep a spare key in my wallet...thanks for the advice, Mr. Huber. :)

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  2. I remember that day...it was pretty scary and I'm so glad you're OK. Well, I can't think of your story without thinking of my own accident, when I was hit by a car while riding my bike to class. I'm grateful to the driver of the car that hit me for not fleeing the scene, and for calling 911 himself, and to the pedestrian who witnessed it (didn't speak much English)and helped me to the side of the road. I'm grateful to the VP of NAU who noticed and gave my husband his card should I have any problems with my professors, I'm grateful to the Dean of Students for calling to check on me, as well as my RHD (I know that's standard procedure, but it was still nice). I'm grateful to my in-laws (not strangers, but still) for keeping my husband calm and to the paramedics for keeping me calm. I'm also grateful to the insurance lady from the guy who hit me for being so nice even if it did take forever to get it sorted out. Most of all, I'm grateful to the angels that were surely protecting me from getting seriously hurt at all.

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    1. Kylie, I am so glad you had as much help and support as you did. I was devastated when I heard you got hit...I can't imagine how scary that must've been! Actually, when I was writing this post, I was secretly hoping you would share your story. It's truly incredible how serious situations can infinitely improve when people come together and offer even the simplest acts of kindness!

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  3. I remember when that all happened. It was scary!!! It truly was amazing how things turned out the way they did.

    My story, and I'll try to condense it, occurred during the summer before my junior year of college. I had just gotten back from the valley. None of my roommates were back yet, so I was home alone. Early that morning, around 2:30 am, I heard a loud intense banging on the front door. When I finally was awake enough to realize what was going on, I started freaking out. I knew my roommates wouldn't bang on the door like that, they would just call me. So I was nervous answering the door because I knew my neighbors around me liked to party and I thought they were drunk and goofing off. When I finally opened the door, a saw a police man and he quickly informed me that my apartment building was on fire, and that I needed to get out now! What do I do? I run back in and grab a blanket, my glasses and phone. It was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. I watched as everything I worked towards for my major having a 99 percent chance of going up in flames!!! Luckily the fire fighters there were able to contain it and put it out before it consumed my apartment. Unfortunately it did completely destroy the apartment I shared a wall with, and the one kiddy-corner to mine. My apartment only got severe smoke damage and everything in it was saved. But I couldn't live in it anymore, so I was officially homeless! My family, neighbors and friends I knew were so willing to help. I had a good friend offer their place for the summer until I could find another place for me and my roommates. The landlords for the apartment that was burned, were so understanding and offered their place after everything was fixed up....so luckily my roommates, after a year of fix up, were able to move back in as I left for bigger and better events...getting married!!!!

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  4. Well I have one really defined memory of helping someone who was not a complete stranger, but he was still foreign to me. This was becasue ever since we were kids we basically hated eachother and everytime we would play basketball against one another or see eachother, a fight would almost break out. So anyway, he went to a rival high school called Sinagua in Flagstaff and becasue of budget cuts, they were forced to close down his school. Many of the kids including this guy (who is now a good friend of mine) were forced to go to either Coconino High School (where I went) and Flagstaff High School. This guy ended up going to Coconino with a lot of other Sinagua kids and for them, they were all very scared and intimidated to come on our turf. I knew that he was going to try out for the basketball team and I knew what it felt liked to be forced out of your school (it happened to me in Elementry School), so one day after school and I went up to him and said "hey man, I just want to let you know that whatever problems we had before are behind us now and I want to let you know that we have open gym on mondays and wednesdays. It would be cool if you showed up so we could get used to playing ball together." He looked really shocked and kind of surprised at my gesture of friendship and he said "Oh ok, well thanks Aaron, I really appreciate it." Eventually he made the team and I told him now that we are teammates, we are brothers and from then on we have been good friends ever since.

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  5. I totally understand how you felt when you had the accident! The same thing happened to me. A lady turned into my lane and in order to avoid hitting her I had to swerve where I drove over a landscaping rock that took me airborne and into a brick wall. I had a convertible and my top was down. I was pinned under a tree that was on the other side of the brick wall. Needless to say I was unconscious. I am so grateful for the driver who called 911 (it was NOT the lady who caused it but rather a bystander). I always wonder what would of happen if no one saw it, would the lady have driven away like she was planning on? I am so glad you are ok and did not suffer more traumatic physical injuries!

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  6. This was the first thing I thought of but it is a little long, so here goes.

    When I was 10 years old, I was playing an online video game. (I was hooked on video games and the internet from a young age.) There was a lobby of sorts, where people talked about whatever while waiting until their next game to start up. I normally didn't talk much, I was always careful of online predators and what not. Friends I made online who knew I was only 10 years old and were 5-10 years older than me, watched me like a hawk to make sure no one took advantage of my naivety. (And I have to take a moment right now to thank them of that.)

    All of the sudden this guy starts talking about how depressed he is in the lobby. He said he was thinking about committing suicide. I was shocked. I was 10 years old and the thought of someone taking their life was something that had never crossed my mind before. So that's when I decided to start talking. I asked him what was wrong, what could have happened to possibly make him feel that way?

    He said his mother had been hit by an icicle that fell off a building and she was in the ER, the doctors didn't know that she'd make it. He continued to talk about how his mother was the only thing he had left to live for. No one else was responding, I was the only who seemed to care. I felt like it was my sole duty to convince this guy that life was worth living.

    I vividly remember the conversation. I told him that if his mother lived, then how would she feel only to find out that her son killed himself? This went on for close to an hour when he finally said that he was going to log off. He didn't know what he was going to do, but he was incredibly thankful for me taking the time to care about his life. I never found out what happened.

    That made such a huge impact on me. I was only 10 years old. Since then, I have been known to roam around online forums where people seek advice and helping people through depression. Most of the times, I'm the only one who will help these people. Others are too busy to stop and take the time to help these people.

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  7. I suppose my situation is sort of trivial, but a stranger did have to rely on me in a sense. Myself and a foreign exchange student were waiting at a busstop on campus, and through some broken English he had asked me where this bus goes and if it will be able to get him to class on time. The bus was coming up and he was getting sort of stressed out, we got on the bus and I tried to lead him in the right direction-'this next stop should be yours, and if you hurry inside, you might just make it!'. He got off at the next stop, and all I can say is that I hope he made it!

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  8. Oh darn. I could have sworn I'd responded to this a couple nights ago. Oh well! I guess it can't hurt to submit our comments even after our deadline.

    I can't believe you went through all that. I'm glad you're still here with us! What a crazy, scary experience... it really makes you appreciate the kindness of strangers, huh?

    At the moment, I can't think of a moment when I depended on the kindness of a stranger, but (sort of related) about a month ago my boyfriend and I witnessed a woman get struck by a car while she was in a crosswalk (though she shouldn't have been in the road at the time). We immediately put on the hazard lights of his vehicle and were first responders to the incident to the best of our abilities. I suppose that counts as in instance of "kindness," though I definitely consider it more of a responsibility as a fellow human. :) Alas.

    Keep up the great work on your blog! It looks great.

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